i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
