my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
