It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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