Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
