**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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