Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We have started to decorate penises.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
