Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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