And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
