we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
