come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
