Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
