I wannas sexs uuuuu
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
