hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The power of my boobs compel you
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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