Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
