This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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