Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
two words...techno handjob
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
