is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize