my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
