she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
