I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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