I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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