We won't sleep together?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
