Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
