Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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