So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
