He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
