Sry I called you an 8
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
