Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
