You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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