I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
