garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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