hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
