Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
