i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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