??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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