We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
