What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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