sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
