She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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