one might say we're banned from that church
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
