Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Two words: blizzard sex
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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