Do vagina's smell?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
40s are totally the cure
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
