did you get engaged???
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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