Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
