If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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