Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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