im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
