Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Congratulations! We have a period
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
