Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
