I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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