i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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