So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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