the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
